STANDARDIANA.

Manawatu Times, Volume V, Issue 114, 5 February 1881, Page 2

STANDARDIANA.

; Preferring, -with a soul. as blapkas-soofe-. -£. rogue on horseback ibo a~ saint on foot.' . . Othello's Occupation Gone.. -=- We have it upon the authority of jour JPeildiiig contemporary that the proposed amalgama-tion;'of;-the Postal and Railway Departments at that place will, not" ■ tivke. place.- at Feilding, no more than at Palmerston. . ;j This will be B&frnywa tor the Standard , man, as he will have no further excuse -for, abusing, the station master ■ and flaunting v his i mock sympathy with Mr. Stevens. We .assume then that we will-comi in 'forfthe former, and his effervescing pathos be again poured out at the feet of tnVwictowed Empress. Our' Printer's Devil -vs Reply.--- Th», Standard man has a grievance, and this is how he dilates upon it : — ".Among the first of the eager ones who every afternoon await our publication, penny in band, are two or three boys from the Times office." Upon reading the above our P. D. smole a smile and delivered himself as follows: — " It is all very well for M'Minn to Sneer "at 'our .. pennies, but none of his precious boys have seen the color of one from him" for six weeks," and as he departed to resume his professional roller, we mentally; remarked " Out of the mouths of babes cometh wisdom." •- _■:-■■• ?•;-■. ... -:--^ir Be Vert- Carefuxj ; 'Tsm. —The "Journalist of Repute " glotfts over an extract clipped from. :his master's paper, the Wangdnui Herald, " which he ' characterises as very severe on us. In inserting the so-called " severity " the " J. of R. " tries to kill two birds with the one stone — First, t© gratify his spite against us ; and secondly, as Messrs. Notman and Ballance back his paper, why he is in duty-bound to back up their paper. There are wheels within wheels, and; Pepper will now see that; we a.re. pretty well aware how the machinery of his establishment works. There is verj little phil anthropy in this world, and men, particularly Pressmen, do not lend their names for nothing. We know more than Pepper gives us credit for. So, Tom, be verv careful. . The Milk in the Cocoa Nut. — The Manawatu High ways Board met. on Monday, and knowing that an application: for a share of advertising would be met with a request for a statutory , declaration, of ; circulation, and that the " pressure of business " exeifs'e wouH- not wash a second time, ,the astute manager of -the- Standard took'aback seat, and sent in no application. The chairman very .properly denounced the number of mushroom papers which spring up in a night: nnd'fHsappesir as ; vnpidly,'an~d this is bow j the " Journalist of Repute" has his revenge upon all such bodies !— " Wf» trust,- the day is not far 'distant; when Highway Boards are institutions of the past. Their utility is qupst.ion.ible, anil wo believe the. days of sunk bodies are numbered." Tho cloven J hoof is too visible, and the a- priori evidence; i too apparent. to smother the personal anirans under the shadow of public good. , la- the Wrong G-boove.— We have alw.ivs wavnecl our un veracious contemporary from attempting to be funny, intimating that factiousness was not his forte, ar.d a persistence in his endeavors to appear would only end in having the public laugh? mg not with but at him. His - reputation as a pathetic writor is known "and acknowledged by nil, and his plaintive .pleading for the widowed Empress and her dend. son is a matter of history." However,, he would have his xrny, and this is his-' premier paragraph in Wednesday's issue ':— " A happy couple were made twain at the Registrar's office this afternoon." If there be any. truth in the above statement-^-and of course it must be true (?) as it -was in the Standard — Mr. Keeling is. an /unfeeling monster _to make two of a happy couple; or can ib be that the word happy had an "ironical interpretation, and that our worthy Town Clerk's office is a kind of Lord Pehzanee Court where wearied Benedicts and unloving spouses can obtain a. release, a vinctilamatrimonii. Then, ngain, it may bo that the happy couple : wished to be made owe. And the mistake may be owing to Mr. Keeling being an unprofessional joiner. If so, it serves tho lovingjp.air quite right for striving to rob the. professional Devil Dodgers of their legitimate fees. Evil Communications Corrupt Good Morals. — The erstwhile genial correspondent of the Wanyanui Serald, Mr. George Simpson Lockie, has been thrown into bad company, and since his services have been transferred to Messrs. Ballance and Notman's country daily, has been. led into evil ways. Mr. Lookie retains his normal geniality — that will always remain with him, for it is the nature of the man ; but Mr. Lockie has forgotten the Decalogue, has fallen a.way from truth, and bears false witness against his fellow man. Of late Mr. Lockie has been known to fame as the author of those splendid reports in " the other pnper," about which so many glowing paragraphs and puffs have appeared ; but although somewhat like his master in the matter of veracity, Mr. Lockie is the essence' of a wit. The Bard of Avon has truly said "Brevity is the soul of wit," and if to be brief \b to be "witty, then the reports of Mr.' .George, Simpson Lonkie are sparkling scintillations of that .commodity. Meetings of three or four hours are compressed in' o as many lines, and every line contains an invention. A case in point. Mr. Lockie attended the Borough. Coumill on Wednesday night, and although Mr. Lockie ignored most of \yhat really did take place, a consfderahle portion of the. quart er of a column devoted to" a three hours' meeting was filled with a pure fabrication. Mr. Lpckie told the five score »f persons for. whose enlightenment his " report'* '"whs printed, that Mr. Dnngan made along ' utttemeni of his supposed grievances. T!m whs utterly and absolutely untrue. The only reference marie tc his " supposed griev-unee " by Mr. Dungau was to declare l-.i? p-rfei-t priti«fao'tinn-:it' the .unanimous testimony of thi" Council as to the correct^ ness of the Times' reports, t o beg the Ooun:-il not to waste more time on the matter, and to. br-ind '" Critic's.", letter as a* concoction by the " Journalist of Repute." We are afraid but few of 1 the. Cnnn-'allars will even ,eee Mr. Lockie's "report," bu^ were they to do so, they would agree with us that it was very witty, but very worthless.