CONTRIBUTIONS.

Manawatu Times, Volume VIII, Issue 224, 31 March 1883, Page 2

CONTRIBUTIONS.

.Sorb,,— -I'm towld its going' to befoine toimcs ai the Koort next Tliereday, whin the b'ssit shfill kases come on. I consulted me owld freud — Bigorra, I was goiu 1 to let owt a sacret,— and he's a spiritjualUfc, and sseze a 4-hand wats connn' on. I'm a spirityualist, too, and so s Jessop, and the uthers, but my , frend is a theoritik shpiritynalist and dusn't dhrink Shtoney Creek or eny uHiershpirifc, but can use his 2nd eifp. *ucUoI fomd from him. oats isi goin up, and pifaties, and haw ch,ee« is Jellm , and wats a jrood bit of land, to' by, and so on. "Well, Mick," seg I —that s Ins name — » what's the case, fjoin to turn owt?" sea I. "What morrew, ses he, arid shure enuf, yoster* mornin' he gave me this : — ADVANCE' KEPOOBT- Ut THE SHTII.L .Q4SES," On the, cases being, cawled « on, a ehtrange site presinted itself. The accused suddenly got into a, lumpL iv fch& box, and sang- a Korus thus—?" ' Sad, sad,, our fate— lonely we move, - For at this rate, we won't gef home; O you koiad Pekks, bear us; we cry, • , -Do let us ofiE— for its "aU me eye I" 1 Sors, said the Magrsthrait, this will nob doo. - It s a graive charge ye are ur> 0n, % and the'ahtrougarmof the law wilt lie about ye if ye don'.t. look owt. You 1 must not trifle wid— But heer a quare l site met me eye. The Customs and Poleece officers interrupted the Magi.-., thxait, and began .bawlin, this meludy" from the Poriateso' Pensans :— When a shtiller makes a shtill, „ . : - Tarantara — ' Tis ower plaise his'skeem to kill,, - - - Tarantara — For when oognisunt, me bhoys, We niver make a'noise, But watch wid both our eyes, ' To catch Ihe golden prize, ■ Tarantara. Bigorra that took the house be "shtorml " The public hencored/and such a-*hella-balew niver before ' was heered. Bufc jist as they were quietin' down, forfT ladeys got round by the jury sates, un. lookin 1 shtrait at the foorce, begun this wey-T : ' - Go ye hayroes, tell your shtories, , Here we ehtaad m rows before yez» Braves and hayroes we will dub yez, Wid tar and feaders too we'll rub yez, Manely ye came to shpy the h^gnta Of these min — " ' ~ ' jp* We're their sishters and their edsins and their aunts. :The foorce reploid- - • " Tho' to us its ivident Tarantara — - These attentions are well meant, Tarantara — It really would us please If you ladies all would' sneeze, And not at us poke fiin, '' Now the trouble is begun — Tarantara. ' Will, the ladeys subsided, and theMagisthrait looked complaitely- puzzled. Fersfc he glanced at the foorce, and skowled,-then he glanced a.t the ladies, and shmiled, but .suddenly all the whigs bobbed up into line, and the legal mitt burst forth — An ayr-ther dwelt jn the Shtoney Creek, And there it dwelt for many a week," - Bat one foine day tho poloece came. along, And whipped up thoaysther, which, was very wrong. And the man who owned that *aysther came And said to the foorqe, " I know yourgame./' And he beckon'd the lawyers, shtrait away, And here we all are— .for a jolly good. -day, l " ■ So policemen and owner just keep your eye On the aysther close/ or you'll find bye* and bye, ' ; That the sheila they will open, and down — wid a jump, Will the aysther go wid a bump, bump, bump. - Will, the applaws" was terrifick. I thaut a volcancr had broken out, whin this son-.? was gi* en be the Bar, and just then the Magistrate said-^' The, Bioch " is not poetik as a rool, but its inok'ula.ted, wid it tosday, so here goes— <' . This very important case, And interestin' too, Us m a hole does plaise, Where sune will 6e some of yew; • So come back m a week, Our sentence to recaive — And please look very meek—: The Coort will rise and laive.

And the Coqrt and public left. ' ' Yoors trooley, PAPDY O'ToOLEi Fitsherbut. March 30.