Passing Notes

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 6, 23 April 1920, Page 3

Passing Notes

BY JACQUES.

Xaugh where we must, be candid wherewe can. — Pope.

DE MORTUIS In pensive mood I wandered, at the dewy close of day, Through the silent, solemn graveyard, and at every turn I read, Inscribed on snowy marble, or engraved in granite gray, The many, many, virtues of the underlying dead. Their lives had been perfection, iull of grace and piety, And every one was certain of his mansion in the skies; But since I read those epitaphs, the thing that puzzles me, Is where in earth they hide the oally sinner when he dies? The scentific world is quite fiuttered just now over certain mysterious etheric vibrations or pulsations that have butted in, as it wero, on our own wireless system, and which, for want of a better explanation are surmised by some to be fragments of messages from Mars or some other planet, which is trying to send us a civil greeting. Some very much in earnest in their ^elief, and Signor Marconi has announced his intention of investigating the matter as thoroughly as possible, and perhaps attempt a reply to the seeming signals. There is something very fascinating in the idea that we may yet annihilate the millions of leagues separating us from our planetary neighbours, and daily exchange political news and views," market reports and racing tips with* them. It may be that the Martian or Venus ian (is that the right word?) would be able to give us sorne valuable hints on our electrification scheme, and it would be interesting to get their unbiassed opinions of President Wilson or Mr' Massey. But there are dangers, too, in breaking down the barrier of space. The "splendid isolation" that we have enjoyed in the past would be lost to us, and we do not know what kind of neighbours we would get. They might prove of that .class who indecently ignore our claims to privacy, who pr.actise the cornet at midnight, and who are always borrowing our garden tools. It were well to be-earefull ; it is much easier to make undesirable. acquaintance than to break it off. School teachers, for the most part, wear, like Cassins, "a leaa and hungry look." This curious physiological fact is rather perplexing — until one reads the printed schedules of teaching salaries. There lies the explanation . Few men could wax fat, like Jeshurum, on the miserable pittance of the average pedagogue. Our persistent policy of parsimony in matters educational is difficult to understand, in the face of our professional concern for the "upl fit of the race." The elevating process — which is growing more strenuous every generation — is largely assigned to the schoolmaster, and he is expected to be equal to it. The day of Goldsmith's pedagogue, who. "could write and cipher too," is over; we ask now for Admirable Crichtons as the teachers of our children. They must have brains, their knowledge must be cyclopaedic ; they must be athletics, botanists, gymnasts, singing masters, and what not ; and we expect in them understanding, tact, patience, sym-. pathy and quite a host of other virtues to make up a character that will leave its healthy impression on our boys and girls And for these qualities and attainments we offer a "screw" that if offered to a scavenger would provoke him to assault and batter us. Small wonder that, as one ex-teacher sweepingly declared, "No man willingly stays in the service one day after he discovers that he has brains " And so the "uplift" drags. Time was when we regarded the man in khaki as a hero. We told him so in a thousand ways and places. We also said that we would never, never forget him, and to prove our bona fides we set about raising funds for his latea* benefit — incidentally getting a lot oi fun for ourselves in the procass. That was when we were foolishly scared that the German might get here, and wanted someone to stop him and his bullets, But we have now gotover our scare, time has opened our ©yes. With clearer visicm to-day wa

see that the fellows who fought for us are not the heroes we mistakenly supposed them to be, but are, rather, something like cadgers, or worse. To the Southland War Funds Association must be given the credit of first making the discovery. For some tirae past a number of soldier-invalids in the hospitals and elsewhere have -been in Teceipt of a monthly dole of tobacco, the cost being met out of the funds subscribed by the public in its days of funk and enthusiasm. The monthly bill was not very startling in its amount; but it would seem that some of the soldiers had badly hurt as a result of foolishness in stopping bullets ete., in Flanders and other places, and have remained too long on this tobacco pension list. Anyhow, the War Funds Association, in a most commendable spirit of bumbledom, decided to "cut it out." And "cut it out" they did, with no other ^explanation, so far as the public knows, 'than that given by one of the members that the sick soldiers were "coming it a bit too strong." But then, no other explanation should, or could have been expected from such a body. One can hardly pick up a paper nowadays without reading that so-and-so, "a returned soldier," has been convicted of some offence or other. What usefuj purpose is sorved by mention of the fact that a particalar transgressor is a returned soldier is not very clear, while much harm may be wrought thereby. Probably the returned soldiers yield no greater proportion of malefactors and misdeipeanants than any other class of the community, though, their numbers being so great, it might seem so. But the persistence with which our papers record the fact that the aforesaid So-and-so is a returned soldier will certainly spread the impression that our R.S.'s are an exceptionally tough lot, and that it would be well to ta-ke in the washing while any of them are about, It were well that the R.S.A. did a litle kicking against this unfair treatment of them, as a body, by the press. But perhaps such publicity is necessary in the interests of something or other. If so, let us impartially carry the practice further, and when John Niblick is convicted of bigamy, mention that he is a me-mber of the Invercargill Golf Club, or when Thomas Stiggins forfeits the amount of his bail for drunkenness, inform the public that he is a teacher in St. Jeremiah's Sunday School. Sauce for the goose is also good for the gander.