THE LADIES’ WORLD.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXVII, Issue 2566, 29 July 1909, Page 3

THE LADIES’ WORLD.

• HOW CHILDREN ARE OFTEN HURT. (By Marion Wathen, in the “Ladies’ Home Journal.”) Children are, as a rule, quick to feel a rebuff or reproach, with natures as sensitive to personal remarks or to thoughtless indifference as our flesh is to the prickings of a pin. Yet how many people who show careful consideration for the feelings of their grownup friends too often forget that their own children have any feelings to be considered ! These very people may be, in many respects, the kindest of parents, working and planning day after day for the best- bodily comforts and mental advantages of their children; yet making miserable by their thoughtlessness the lives of those who should bo the happiest creatures in.the world. One of the saddest sights in the wide world is a child surrounded at home by everything needful to supply bodily wants and yet “homeless” .because misunderstood; a child-who never runs to tell Mother or Father his little difficulties and sorrows because he has learned from past experiences that he must not look for sympathy there, and doubtless will only be upbraided instead. A misunderstood child is more to be pitied than a misunderstood grown person, because the child cannot fight his own way. He is at the mercy of the “grown-ups” ; lie cannot make a world for himself, but must take whatever world is thrust upon him, though that world be filled with upbraidings and wretchedness.

—Beware of Alisjudging a Child. — Because a child may have a different disposition from the ordinary child, beware of misjudging him. Alany great men and women were considered. ‘ peculiar” in childhood. If a child is different from the ethers of his family there is the greater reason for treatino, him with consideration. Let me tell you a story lately told me by the woman to whom, as a child, the incident occurred. She herself had been one of those children who are considered “different” —doubtless because, as such children generally are, she was shy and reticent, keeping her thoughts and feelings to herself. Between her mother and herself there existed almost an antagonism, probably because her mother misunderstood her' and attributed a wrong motive to nearly everything she did. So more and more the child’ kept her feelings and thoughts to herself, till one day she heard her mother say to some one: “I really think there is something not quite right about- Mamie.” Imagine the horror, the terrible dread that came into the child’s life that day—the fear that she was different from other children, that some dav sho might become what people called “crazy”; that people would always look upon her with pity, and perhaps with fear; that she must live her life apart and alone! This fear and sorrow so filled her young life that the traces remain on her face to this day; and all this suffering simply because her mother did not take the trouble to study her child that she might comprehend her. Later, relief came through a stranger —a woman who became the child’s friend so that for the first time in her kfe that child knew the joy of being understood. This woman, seeing the child’s unhappiness, made herself her confidante, and sho never misunderstood her.

—Don’t Trample on a Child’s Feelings.—

Again, in a certain home were two little girls, Gladys, aged seven, and Winnie, five. It was plain that Minnie was the mother’s favorite. This was probably because she was the prettier and more outwardly attractive of the two. She had beautiful flaxen curls, and licr mother 'delighted to keen them in perfect order. It was nffic/i easier, too, to keep her looking dainty and neat, for somehow she was never so hard on her clothes, as Gladys was; and it appealed to the mother’s own vanity to have people comment approvingly on the child’s appearance. Consequently, Winnie received most of the new clothes and always the prettier ones. But the mother forgot that the two children were constituted differently, and that one child had been given an active nature which loved _ free, childish sport and play, and rejoiced in all bodily activity, while to the other was given a quieter disposition that cared”more for gentle home amusements. . . On ono occasion an aunt visited their home, and wishing to take one of the children home with her for a few weeks, suggested it should he Gladys. _ Both the children were present as their mother -replied: “Oh, I could not think of sending Gladys; she would make so much work for you all. She would keep somebody busy mending her clothes all the time, for she is never happy unless romping about—always on the tear. Now Winnie is different: a dress will last her a whole week. Gladys only hung her head and was silent, but her feelings were hurt. The matter came up again, m the presence of the children, and this time the mother said: “I guess Winnie will have to go, for Gladys has no clothes ready. She can never go anywhere; she can’t keep her clothes looking decent. But I don’t know how I can ever get • along without "Winnie. She looks after the baby so well, and does all the errands for me. Now Gladys could go and I would never miss her, for she’s not a hit of good around the house.’ ‘ Poor child! Every word cut like a knife into her sensitive little soul. And from day to day, in the home life, ono could see that she was growing up with the feeling that no one needed or cared for her. The. mother, who of all others should have been her child’s comforter and confidante, was unthinkingly almost breaking that child’s heart and blighting her whole life. And not only was the mother doing an injustice to this child and injuring her life; but, moreover, her treatment had a serious effect upon the favored child. She soon acquired a self-righte-ous feeling, showing by her, conduct that she thought herself superior to her sister. Sho was continually running to her mother with stories about something wrong that her sister had been doing; and the mother, instead of upbraiding the child for “telling tales,” rather encouraged it. These are but two of many such cases, and unfortunately we need not go far to look for more. Let us all, then, beware of trampling on a child’s feelings, and let us cultivate the grace of thoughtfulness, especially with little children.