MINISTERS AND THEIR WAYS.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXVII, Issue 2584, 19 August 1909, Page 3

MINISTERS AND THEIR WAYS.

“TIRED TIMI.”,

(By an Admirer, in the “Citizen.”) If you are a respectful person, indisposed' to think that the Cabinet Minister can bo quite like vour next door neighbor —if you have' no 'knowledge of tile Ministry outside such a knowledge you cnir "obtain from the solemn reports of their speeches —if you have never seen Ministers in the flesh—-if, in addition you are old-fashioned enough to feei pain when your ideals are shattered—and if, finally, you wish to communicate with the acting-Prime Minister, you will be well advised to do it by letter. You- will receive a reply in at most three or four months, and you will learn that the matter is to be considered. < But if you are not entirely unsophisticated, you will proceed this*way. You will call at his hotel, and ask the first man you meet: “Is Jimmy in?” He may bo the hotel porter. He won’t think you are enquiring for the Boots. He will say: “I ain’t seen him go out.” So then you proceed upstairs, and you will fmd that there are several people waiting to see Jimmy. You will also wait, until you are tired, for. Jimmy takes a long time to do nothing. If you are in a hurry, you will seek out one of Jimmy’s staff, and say, “When can I see Jimmy?”.lf you are not in.a hurry yon will wait with the mob in the passage, catching glimpses of a reporter trying to interview Jimmy, who goes on solemnly playing Patience at the card table all by himself. Your last memory will be a perspiring reporter’s anxious face, and the imperturbable placid weariness with which Jimmy shakes his head as he lays the seven of hearts on the eight of clubs.

TAKING CARE OF THE PREMISES. There is no such person (to quote from a writer in an early issue of the “Citizen” on Sir J. G. Ward), there is no such person as tbo Hon. James Carroll. acting-Prime Minister of the Dominion. He is a myth —the title is a, mere formula to facilitate reference to the genial Jimmy in whose hands the destiny of this country is at present reposing. Away in England loving hearts are turning towards this end of the earth, and tender voices saying to Sir Joseph, ‘ : Who is taking care of the premises?” Sir Joseph informs them that ho sleeps sound in the knowledge that his gifted and eloquent- colleague the Hon. James Carroll is devoting his well-known energies and his great abilities to the control of the country. He also tells the people of England that a peculiarly happy feature of the case is the fact that the Hon James Carrol is a representative of the Nativo race. But all the time, it is only Jimmy. , , , , You will rarely pass Jimmy’s hotel without seeing a few natives entering or emerging. And the password is always “Jimmy.” “Ah! Hcnare,” said Makareta, “Is Timi in?” “Yell.” “Piri?” And Hcnare laughs. Jimmy is never busy. Watch Makareta. Somebody coming down the staircase says, “Want to see Jimmy?” “Tee Timi? '. says Makareta scornfully; “no. Timi want to tee me.” Makareta has no particular business with the Prime Minister, but like Hen are and others, she does want to enjoy seeing Turn struggling with the burden of Prime Ministership. Not that Jimmy struggles. He is too wise for that. What s the use? There’s no beastly pride, in the Hon. James Carroll. The Prime Ministership is only an incident in his gentle passionless life, and lie is not going to allow it to make him forget that he is Jimmy still. - If it were Dr. Findlay now— ON A TRAMCAR.

A jolly good democrat is James. A local newspaper man tells me a story to illustrate it. The story may be untrue, but it ought to be true, and it sounds true, anyway. This man boarded a tramcar on a recent night, and squeezed into a smoking compartment There he found a local politician of his acquaintance, one or two highly placed Government officials, and Jimmy. The other two seats were occupied bv some common citizens. Jimmy was not speaking. What’s the use? The politician was chirping* away and the others were laughing at his jokes. Jimmy laughed deeply and wholeheartedly. The politician at. told the newspaper person this: —“You ought to come along with Jimmy tonight. You’ll get copy.” “What’s Jimmy going to do?” said the person. ! He“s going to make a speech to the Y.M.C.A.,” was the reply, and the politician, the officials, the populace and Jimmy roared uproariously. My friend says that he got off at the next stopping place and went straight to the Library to read old books on Consti‘tutional Government in order to. restore his shattered nerves. Personally 1 cannot see what there,is to shock anyone in the fact that the acting-Prime Minister calls himself Jimmy and rides in a penny tram with the other democrats, and encourages the belief that the position of Prime Minister of the greatest Dominion on earth may yet be consonant with genialty. Why only the other day someone slapped King Edward on the back and said, “Well done, Teddy.” With that high precedent. the Hon. James can feel secure against the snobs who think that he should wrap himself'in a cloak of terrible dignity, and have everyone imprisoned who trifled with his Christian name.