A Difficult social Duty

Gisborne Times, Volume XXVII, Issue 2676, 4 December 1909, Page 4 (Supplement)

A Difficult social Duty

WRITING NOTES OF SYMPATHY TO FRIENDS.

To the majority of persons there is no more difficult social duty than that of Writing letters of condolence, and many shrink from it. Yet those who are ‘in sorrow so greatly appreciate messages from, their friends that no effort to write such a note should be considered too irksome; As a matter of fact, the writing of such letters should be no effort, for every word should be .spontaneous, coming straight from the heart to comfort those afflicted. These letters differ in tone and in length according to the degree of intimacy one lias with the person to whom one is writing. To formal acquaintances the correct form is to send one's visiting card, on which one writes at the top of the card, “Deepest sympathy’’ or “Our deep sympathy for you and yours,” when you wish to include their family and your own. , Letters of condolence should always be written on . wfiit-e note .paper with black ink. Tinted paper for this purpose is incorrect, while colored inks for social usage are obsolete. WherN penning such a note write legibly, for the mind and the eyes of the reader will he under a great strain, and it is a kindness to avoid any possibility of taxing them. Try to express sorrow naturally, just as you would talk, and do not endeavor to say much, for a few rightly chosen words will adequately carry the feeling. It is usually most comfortiug to the bereaved to hear the lost one praised, so always try to put in your letter some tribute. . Recall kindnesses done by tile one now dead, or any personal thing you can. think of, and when you are writing of someone with whom possibly you have not a personal acquaintance, think of the things you have heard others say and quote them with sincerity, for they will be a comfort and help forward tlio consolation to which you are seeking to contribute. It is most thoughtful when writing to persons so afflicted, after sing one’s sympathy to offer one’s services in any way that might be useful. There “are often little things others can do for friends until the first shock passes and life resumes for them more normal conditions. _ In writing, always make it evident that you are more than ready to do these “acts, but. having offered, do not press vourself upon them, for to do so would'be tactless and intrusive. Some persons are sensitive to the invasion of their privacy, so it is well not to be over zealous in one’s desire to help.