Ormond Notes.

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume II, Issue 199, 22 September 1888, Page 3

Ormond Notes.

at the rink. “ There are more things in Heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in thy philosophy.” [Continued.] “ Drummer Fagan !” I called. “ EIGHTEEN!’» answered Fagan. I was glad Fagan answered me, because I was now in dire need of his assistance. It was necessary that I should resume the upright position, but this was not to be thought of without Fagan’s help, which he generously gave, and I cautiously worked myself on to my feet again. I decided, however, not to persevere in perfecting myself in the first position at present, so with fear and trembling I made a movement forward. This proved a rash proceeding, as, to do my best, I could not keep my feet anywhere near each other. At last one slid off at the doubletreble or quadruple would be nearer the mark —in the direction of the equator, while the other sought the south pole with an equal, if not greater, velocity, and I performed with astonishing alacrity and precision a very extraordinary acrobatic feat, one I had often tried when a boy, but never could accomplish satisfactorily. It consisted in arranging the body somewhat like the letter H lying on its side, the legs fotming one side of the letter, the arms the oilier, and the trunk the stroke between. Here Fagan pressed his finger to the crooked aide of his nose (I suppose, to bend it straight), and laughed immoderately, it seemed to me, like a hyena. He looked as if he would ‘‘ bust” something, and I wished he would. I was in an agony of torture, and it was only by rolling over ou my back like a porpoise that I was able to give ease to my wracked limbs. When I had recovered a little, I sat up and endeavored to gather my scattered senses and the several members of my body together. Having done so, and thought over the matter at length, I concluded that skating wasn’t worth learning, and that a fourteen stone man would be safer not to skate. I resolved therefore to get back to my seat as quickly as possible. But resolving to do this and doing it were widely different, for on attempting to move, my head would travel faster than my feet, and then I would fall forward, bruising my body and tearing my garments in front. At other times my feet would have most speed on, when I would fall backwards, bruising myself, and tearing my garments—otherwise. And yet, with all, I did not seem to be making headway. I was becoming desperate. I could not reach the desired spot cn my feet: why not get there on all fours? The position, it is true, would be somewhat undignified, but what cared I for that; I had become quite callous to the jests of the other rinkers. Moreover, my suspenders had given an ominous crack, which made me rather dubious of their performing their legitimate functions until they had had an overhauling So it was all fours for it. But misfortune still pursued me, for, for some reason or other,—perhaps not moving gracefully enough,—a little dog which had up till now enjoyed the fun, resented my imitation of the quadruped, and notwithstanding that I exhausted my vocabulary of all my endearing terms for canines, I could not induce him to let me proceed. I even said “ Good boy, doggie,” but it was no use, He had me bailed up, and there was nothing for it but to squat again, which I accordingly did, and swore meekly. Here Fagan came along and suggested that a good way out of the difficulty would be to remove the skates where I was, and’ so set myself at liberty. Fagan was right, it was a very happy thought, so between us we set the eßates adrift, and I was free. It hurts me now, however, to rise up or sit down, and I generally say, “ Oh 1” when Ido either. Fagan and I left the hall and wended our way homewards. On the road, Fagan sweetly lisped that it was very cold. I knew what that meant, but I was not sufficiently reconciled to him to take the hint, so I told him to betake himseif to the lee side of the wire fence and keep himself warm, thus inadvertently giving him further cause for merriment. However, before we reached the Chandos we made it up, and Fagan had his “usual.” Taking all things into consideration, I don’t think I will pursue my studies in rinking further just now. Ballyaltikilligan.