ROUND ABOUT GISBORNE.

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume III, Issue 318, 29 June 1889, Page 3

ROUND ABOUT GISBORNE.

Iby one who’s been thebe ] Dbab Mn Standard,—l am a late arrival—it is my fate to be late. The fact that I .was born two years late gave my brother the lion’s share of our parent’s property, and the same tendency to be late has seemed to haunt me through life. I arrived in Gisborne ten years too late, and I see it all now. Had I come earlier, I must surely have made my fortune and would at the present time be rolling in wealth. Speculation in native land and oil shares must have gained for me a competency for life. But what is the good of lamenting ! Your citizens may be rich as Ormsus, but I don’t envy them in the least. I like to take things philosophically when I can’t get them any other way. But you want my impressions of Gisborne. I can’t help remarking that I believe I’ve made a far greater impression on Gisborne than it has mads on me. Your Gladstone Road and my size nines will testify to that. I shall be long before I shake the dust of Gisborne off my feet ;.not because I am particularly enamoured of it. I shouldn’t like to die in it, or in any other place for that matter. It is, however, A SHEEB IMPOSSIBILITY to shake off what has adhered to my boots. I am not aware whether in the place you have anyone who would be prepared to take the responsibility of such a large scraping contract. The first thing that strikes a visitor is the number of trees that grow in the streets and round about them. I was particularly struck with one of them myself the other night, but I don’t think it was ths tree’s. fault. It happened to be very dark at the time. Just now a number of the trees are leafless, but I should say at certain periods of the year they would give an appearance of greenness to the town which would be in keeping with the freshness which seems to always prevail hers. In an American town they would be invaluable, and even hers they will ba serviceable if ever you start lynching one another. At least they are handy to get behind in case of a fight, for m that case the shelter they would give would not be interfered with by. the somewhat inartistic way in which they have bean trimmed. The trees scarn to be the only things that outnumber your lawyers and ths establishments which revel in the appellation of „ “city” this ano "city that, some of them, by the way, handseme edifices. The majority of the buildings have the appearance of having seen better times—and to have forgotten it, To these a coat of paint would give a neater appearance and an opportunity to test the truth of the notice of II wet paint ” which follows ths fresh painting of a house as surely as ths nightmare does a late supper. I found at least one emporium, which comprehensive term included in its effects a chest of drawers, a table, a chair or two, and a vast amount of space, You have at least one hundred (more or lees) handsoma buildings in your main street—the others are more or less handsome, The hotels look clean and neat, and are admirably conducted, and a friend of mine, upon whose statement I can rely, tells me they keep very good liquors. I wa» glad to hear this, seeing that it was money borrowed from me that gave him an opportunity of testing them. Gisborne ought to ba a cheap place to live in if you judge by the number of people who seem to be sacrificing all their profits in order to let you have goods at

Mas THAN COST PRICE, But I've met this same phase of things in other places, and, while I give all credit to the gentlemen who enable their customers to reap all these great advantages, I don't like to impose on their good nature. Once only did I get things cheaper than they ought to be. It was a store suit. I put them on and was a great swell “positively for this occasion on'y ” I intended to wear them oftener, but somehow the sleeves partly bid adieu to the coat itself, and certain other garments—well, the least said about them the batter ; unlike tiie Irish tenants, I had at least no difficulty in finding the rent. You seem to have enough churches to provide instruction for twice your population, I saw one church notice on the firebell stand, and I am sorry to confess that after all the religious bringing up I had I was profane enough to connect the two things with another unearthly conflagration which is supposed to await wicked editors and other people. To this disrespect of religious things it must be owing that I connected the fact that the Salvation Army bitraoks adjoins a blacksmith shop and must thusgive the Army an admirable opportunity of CHRISTIANS. But if all I hear ii-teuejroujvaut religious instruction badly. I met one manAvlio gave me some gratuitous advice. He tcld me to watch what I was about, as everyone in Gisborne was a rogue. He expressed it m more forcible and more voluble language than that, but I understand that is what ue meant and from his manner of saying it I included that he wished to except himself “ om the category. I always take advice With a grain of salt, and later on I met one of the said rogues (as the lawyers put it) au-1 he informed me that my erstwhile adviser was the biggesv rogue in Gisborne. I asked my new friend something about the prospects of Gisborne, and he told me a lot, ba* when I asked him “How about the oil!” he said that was a s'ippery subject. I looked to see if he was joking with me. There was not a smile on lis face, however, lie started to talk about Washington Weaver. I told him I had hoard of Washington, I believe he was a very truthful man, and the district ought to ba proud of such a name, Ha said “yes, that was allright, but the other name null!, fied it I” I asked how was that! and he said it was “ Because

WE’VE a LONG TIME TO WAIT FOR THE OIL !’’ I looked at him again to see if he wasn’t joking. But no, the ghost of a smile that wasn’t there before was still there. (That’s my little joke: sec it ?) I saw I could get little satisfaction on oil matters so I asked h'm about the harbor. “ You’ve had a lot of bother about it, haven’t you !” Ha said they had had some little pother, ami then he commenced to explain how the breakwater was constructed in the wrong place at first, and a host of other things which quite prepased rue to hear that it was constructed iomsswhere up country, and I was agreeably surprised to really find that it was in the water and that steamers had discharged alongside of it, and then I thought if Gls* borneites disparage their own public works in this way, perhaps it was just as well that I didn’t come and make that fortune. I would surely have become an absentee landlord and deprived you of ths pleasure of my invaluable services. Modesty ever became me and so you would say, Mr STANDARD, if you would just drop round and hear the relation of my wonderful exploits. For the present au revolr, as the Maoris most elegantly express it.