A Bloodless Combat.

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume III, Issue 434, 27 March 1890, Page 2

A Bloodless Combat.

The usual post prandial tranquillity of Gladstone road wn. disturbed on Tuesday afternoon by an affair winch afforded to our lawabiding but not over busy citizens, a chance to exhibit as much enthusiasm as they would at a dog fight—or on any other occasion where there was no fersi.nal risk incurred. All through a cold and blustering day a crayfish vendor—an aboriginal who mixes dog Mauri with the Queen’s English, and attrac t would be purchasers to his wares by an unmelodious “ Pish ho ! horro rive 1 pish ho 1 lianui te hike— er er 1 ’’ —had trudged the weary streets with bis barrow, meeting with more or lass success. But while he was easing himself of his stock in trade he had not been idle in patting the proceeds in a place of safety with the assistance of one or more publican,. Towards the latter part of the afternoon the barrow began to get wofully unsteady, and <teem"d to do its best to obstruct its master in his effarts to remove it. from place to place. To get it to wheel right or left was an especially diffieu t task, yet the vendor stuck bravely to his work in spite of his difficulties. But either the day was too oold or money was too scarce or the uncartain quavering of the vender’s voice was not sufficiently attractive, and the old man’s stock in trade seemed to keep in a measnra much about the same. At last a would be customer hove in sight. He was another aboriginal, and he was the proud possesser of a one-wheekd vehicle in which he displayed rock and water melons which he offered you ss great bargains. " Ani mouner mariner 1 two merino mo tehikipene 1 yourerikel welly goorermeriner 1 Allee lite 1 ” Selling melons when customers are few is a hungry kind of work, and as the melon vendor’s eyes lighted upon the scarlet jacketed contents of the other aboriginal’s barrow he had a yearning to possess a sample pf the wares. Ke had not the purchase money, or perhaps, like some well known pakehas, he had the money but did not like to part, and so he determined to gain his end by stratagem. Perhaps too he relied to a certain extent on the knowledge of his father’s fadings,—for the two were father and son- and thought he was saving at

least a, part o! the old man’s stock in trade from imminent bankruptcy. Whatever the feelings that prompted him, it remains to be told that he approached the old man’s harrow as an ordinary customer and asked for a crayfish, putting his other band into hie pocket as if for the money. When he got the crayfish he thought no more about payment and was making a fierce onslaught upon his prize when the crayfish vendor awoke to a sense of the situation. The old man did not Waste his breath in words, but forthwith proceeded to help himself out of the melon barrow, and depositing two melons in his own, prepared to leave the scene. Then the battle commenced

Bound I.—The parties were immediately in front of the Argyll Hotel, and when Malone saw the manceuvres of Crayfish, be mads * dash for the latter. The two bustled one another about, but did no damage. Crayfish made some terrific lunges at Melons, all of which fell short, and then eluding the grasp of his adversary, made a dash for Melon’s barrov, and secured two more tqelons. The parties clasped again, but a bystander separated them, and this ended the first round. Besult: 4 melons in Crayfl-h’s barrow: on the street 1 crayfish, with which a dog was engaged in picking a bone. Round 2.—After a little sailing around one another, the parties came together again opposite the Union Bank. This round was a very short one, the parties being again separated, and a heavy shower damped the ardour of the combatants, and compelled them to seek shelter. Result : Nil,

Round 3.—lt was patent that the parties had go’ up their blood, and meant business. Melons deposited his barrow opposite Pitt and Maguire's, and Crayfish drew up alongside Graham, Pitt and Beonett’s auction mart. Melons advanced with a bold and steady step, and while the attention of Crayfish wee otherwise engaged, seized o“n two of the melons. He could have easily got off with these, but was not satisfied, and tried to get the whole four into bis arms at once. In peaceful times this would be difficult, but on the present occasion simply impossible. Crayfish had by this time got into fighting trim, and made a desperate feint at Melons, cannoning up against him by accident, and sending the melons hither and thither. One melon burst and scattered over the street, and while Melons was engaged in picking the remainder up, Crayfish made a dart at the part of his adversary nearest him. This happened to be the tail of a long clerical looking cnat, which had seen better days, but which was still doing good service in conserving the rents of its present owner. Bip went the garment, and one tail was prolonged till it reached the ground. Melons now thought discretion the better part of valor, and drew off, followed by a junk of melon propelled by the somewhat erring hand of Crayfish. The o'd man had, however, misjudged his distance, and the missile fell short. Whils this had been going on a third party had appeared on the scene, and like the lawyer in the fable, had quietly appropriated the larger part of the disputed property. One melon, however, remained in the barrow of Crayfish, and this the latter, allowing his anger to get the better of his pocket, resolved to sacrifice, in one final dash which would utterly blot out his enemy. Crayfish was now the aggressor, and with commendable spirit took off one of two coats he had on, and seizing the remaining melon in his both hands advanced towards Melon’ with a not overs'eady step. By this time a large crowd bad collected and every one looked on expecting each moment that soma dreadful catastrophe was about to happen. But it is always the unexpected that happens and Constable Pardy arriving on the scene, there was an immediate rush of Maori friends to save the warriors from gaol and Mr Beatty. The constable ordered the hostilities to cease, and just then the cry of ” a runaway ” gave point to his commands, and the third rouud ended. Result : The dog had got the orayfieh, and the lawyer (aboriginal) the melons; one clerical coat spoilt; no gore spilt. Round 4.—Melons had retreated to his* own home and got a fresh coat, leaving his barrow in a conspicuous position. Crayfish did not sufficiently realise the absence of Melons at first, but did so just in time to meet Melons coming back. Meanwhile the attention of everyone had been diverted to the runaway, but Constable Pardy spotted them coming to close quarters, and caused this round to be a regular fizzle Evidently the Constable’s words were full of meaning because the hostilities then ended —at least, so far as the public were concerned. However, as neither of the parties appeared on the streets yesterday, it is quite possible that both are lying up for repairs. That of course is only a conjecture.