MISCELLANEOUS.

Inangahua Times, Volume VII, Issue 1209, 18 December 1882, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS.

♦ A young lady, dressed in much false hair was warbling at the piano, and when her mother summoned her to assist in some household duties, her rosy lips opened poutingly, and she snapped out, ' Oh, do it yourself !' And then she went on singing, ' Kind words can never die.' We make the following suggestions to those ladies whom it my concern : — " When a lady would compose her mouth to a bland and serene character, she should, just before entering the room, say * bosom,' and keep the expression into which the mouth subsides until the desired effect upon the company is evident. If, on the other hand, she wishes to assume a distinguished aud somewhat noble bearing, not suggestive of sweetness, she should say ' brush,' the result of which is infallible. If she would have her mouth look small she must say ' flip ;' but if the mouth be already too small and needs enlarging, she must say ' cabbage.' If she wishes to look mournful, she must say ' kerbunk.' If resigned, she must forcibly ejaculate 'scat. Ladies when having their photographs taken, may observe these rules with some advantage.' A traveller going to bed was surprised to see ghost, which — or who — in a sepul chard tone began — 'I am the spirit of one who was foully murdered here.' 'That's no business of mine,' saicl the traveller, turning round on his pillow.' ' Apply to the proper quarter. Good night.' During the hearing of a case recently in Melbourne a medical witness (Dr M'Crca) gave evidence as to the state of a certain person's pulse. In cross-examination it was suggested to Dr M'Crea that the pulse of a young lady increased rapidly at the approach of her lover, and he replied that he would not think much of her if it did not in. crease at least 20 beats under such circumstance^ Iv answer to an advertisement for the billot of Towu Clerk, Kite Colhvj tor, Treasurer, and returning officer for \ the Dorough of Kumara, there were sixteen applicants. The salary was fixed by tho Colony at £175 per year. The applications were opened on Thursday, when it it was resolved to separate the office of Treasurer, that of Town Clerk &c. This step will necessitate further e<MTr=pr>ndeneo between the Borough Coar.i.il and the applicant.? as !

I understand .£4O is <:<i be deducted from the £175 and given to th> Treasurer. The securities required by the Council have Ikk>:i reduced from £400 to £200. The Wangaratta ' Despatch' narrates the following particulars of an accident which occurred at Eldorado on a recent evening : — " It appears that a girl aged about ten years, daughter of Mr M'Gregor, was standing on tho road when a person on horseback was passing, and before the poor girl could get out of the way the animal stumbled and fell on top of her. In stumbling the animal somehow threw up a lump of a stick 4ftlong andaboutthe thickness of a man's wrist. In falling the blunt end of stick the was iv contact with the horse's shoulders, the sharp end meeting tho girl's right breast The weight of [the falling horse sent the stick right through the poor child's body, entering at her back by the shoulder, and then entering the ground, pinning her to the earth. The mother of the poor girl, after several ineffectual attempts, succeeded in dragging the stick out of the poor little sufferer's body, tha end being still covered with earth after coming right through, the precaution of cleaning the end before drawing it not having l>een thought of. So great was the force which sent the wood through the child's body that the bark was peeled off. Dr Haley did all in his power for the poor little sufferer, but considers the case a hopeless one." Up to Nov. 25th, the representative of the Orient Company at Sydney had received no less than three hundred and eleven proposals for raising tho sunken steamship Austral. The matches played by the Australian eleven in England and America realised the handsome sum of sixteen thousand five hundred pounds, which divided amongst the players would give each a nice sum. German clockmaker — "Yaas, it is drue dot some of niein countrymen drink mock bier ; but he is not strong dot bier, aud does nod makedemdrunk. i British workman — "No? Then what the dooce is the use o' them o drinkin' ofiU' A scientific journal tells us that a little bird, the red tail, has lieen seen to catch 600 flics per hour. If any red tail happens to see this paragraph aud is out of employment just now, it can find a good situation at remuneiative wages in our office. The new Education Act in Franco (says the " Pall .Mall Gazette ") is to be applied to tbfc letter. In a circular just sent round ro the prefects it is distinctly pointed out that while entire discretion is left to parents as regards the method or education, all children, irrespective of sex and position in life, are henceforth to be examined once a year, in order that the Act may be efficiently carried out Children attending schools will be examined there. The rest must be taken by their parents orguardians to the local examinations to be held yearly in all parts off Franca There is no doubt that the new law will have an excellent effect on orphanages aud other institutions in hands of the different denominations, who have made large profits out of the manual labor of little children, to the entire sacrifie of their mental progress. One generation more, and the public letter writer in Frence will have no raison d'etre. Every French subject will be able to read and write. Mr Turner, the police magistrate at Port Adelaide, has established an important departure from existing law practice. He declines to hear cross-in-formations, as he considers them legal fictions to secure evidence for the orginal defendants, as they have been hitherto herd together with the original informations, and he considers that the provisions made for taking evidence on the defendant's oath ha 3 rendered cross-informations unnecessary. The San Francisco style of advertising is rather sensational. Here is a late specimen from one of the journals of that city : — " Away from the laud of her birth and the land of her youth she met tho relentless conqueror, and bowedherlovelyheadtohisstroke. Other hands smoothed tbe long brown tresses ; other fingers closed the blue eyes, and folded the gentle hands upon the peaceful sinless bosom. Pure pork sausages — six pounds for one dollar, at William and Cook's." The bricks at the Garden Palace, Sydney, computed to amount to 2,000, 300, were sold by auction for £677. The Garden Palace cost the colony about a quarter of a million. The Melbourne ' Ago,' in condemning the baronetcy conferred on Mr W. J. Clarke says : — " The idea of a social caste iv a community where all men are on the same, political level is a solecism ; and we may bo perfectly satisfied that tho men of the future, living under higher social forms, and entertaining higher conceptions of citizen life, will look back upon the symbols and signs of honor that are valued so much by the present generation as we may look upon the pinchbaek regalia that flatter the pride and satisfy tho ambition of 'the unbrceched auvereijns of "vava^'-dbm."