A BROAD HINT DELICATELY CONVEYED.

Manawatu Times, Volume III, Issue 52, 10 April 1878, Page 2

A BROAD HINT DELICATELY CONVEYED.

When the sad news became known that the Immortal Knocker would no -longer work the Press Agentic (copyright reserved) wires, although the hearts of ; Pressmen were sad, the proprietors of papers rubbed their hands with glee, and held high saturnalia. To account for this difference of feeling it must be explained that while the former saw the fopd for many a " par " lost for ever; the latter, taking a purely monetary view of the, matter, rejoiced 1 over a considerable redaction in their telegraphic expenses! Our own impression always was, that Knocker—like another eminent personage, who shall be nameless — was not nearly so black as he was painted; and that while news-wanting ; rPressnien outwardly anathematised and showered imprecations Upon thedevbted head of the unconscious Knocker ; inwardly they wore Mui in their, heart of and he was treasured as a dernier ressort in the absence pi the many-bushel crop or monster potatoe. However, Knocker had a short but brilliant reign, and now — telegraphically speaking— he is no more. For many months the emanations from the Press Agency have been shorn of the little /peculiarities ., of selection for which they were -before distinguished ; butanother star appears in the firmament, and this time it sheds its light on the City of Auckland. A few days since the wires from { that place flashed the important intelligence ■ that " John Smith had received three months for vagrancy." We felt considerabljr sorry for John, and' at first doubted its. reality, but as we ultimately i became reconciled to the dreadful truth, we thought it very wrong indeed of John to bring disgrace npon an honoured name. However, in the absence of more particulars, our sorrow gave way to speculation as to which member of that respectable familyi ifc was who 'was the bearer of the stigma. We hadoncej heard of a John Smith of Pdcohontas celebvity, but as he flourished about three hundred years ago, his age, and the improbability, of his existence, precluded the rtpossiblity of his being identical with the? offender! Then there was a John Shiith Iwho^has 'made himself famous as' being "theivfirst assinine importer and : Whittington of Victoria.,' But then that nobleman-^hes was not;a Knight, but he ought to have been^wasnpta plain John Smith, but added thereto the aristocratic appellation of Thdinas. Leaving the*Vagrant Smith., in captivity, we passed r on to the next startling piece of intelligence, to read that Sir George Arney, the late Chief Justice, had -written toa friend to state positively that he (Sir George, not the friend) was still- ' r urima"rriedi At first we felt inclined not .to published the information without ?a ; fee, as we know the stingey old Knight has now matrimonial intentions, and we thought, he had hit upon, the plan ; to iivoid the expense of advertising for a wife ; but our devotion to :the interests of .the fair- sex obtained the mastery, arid: prompts >us /to scatter broadcast the information amongst the troop of elderly, females, sacrilegiously dubbed, "wallflowers;" Our own opinion, however, is that Sir George/ought to \bev ashamed of himself, to .flauntingly pubiishfeis shame— and at his time of life, too. However, has he has seen the error, of his ways, and as, no doubt, the real meaning of the . letter is to have it known that ''Barkis is wilHn," ; we give the announcement. all /publicity for the benefit of ieminine " fifties;" Personally we rather relish, than dislike the choice morceaux so daintily provided by the Immortal Knocker — by which the name pf the said I. K. became as familiar as a household word— and our heartv rejoiced at the advent of a worthy,, successor, — but, then, it does not touch .our pocket. As however, the proprietor of the Times sees through the small end of the telescope, he cannot be expected to take the broad view of the matter that we. can, and in nine cases put. of ten, : strange to say, considers the jokes utterly unworthy of the" price. We, ourselves, however, have a soul above, the filty lucre, and would scorn to. be';, swayed by such paltry considerations, and, providing our readers were onlyamused, we • never take the cost into account, for the simple reason that it does 'not affect us, for-r-we do not foot the bill. We have striven to; convert, the proprietor to our way of thihH&g ; hitherto, we have been unsuccessful, indeed to such an extent, that we feel convinced that as long as pur relative positions are the same-— whUe he has to pay, and we have not— we will never be able to see the matter in the same light. Keluctantly, then, we are debarred from holding but an encouraging hand, but on the contrary are compelled to nip this rising young Knocker in the bud ; and be , content to receive our news filtered . through a :: more prosaic channel. In future, bowing to the will of the proprietor, the fate of Smith will be to us a blank; and, unless through some other source, we must never know more of the pseudo-Benedic-tine Knight. We have broken the news to our. readers as gently as possible ; we trust the Press Agency will take the hint ; and /to Knpcker 11. we tearfully bid an eternal fa'rewell.