Lunch Club Members Wax Eloquent

Manawatu Times, Volume LIV, Issue 7278, 4 October 1933, Page 8

Lunch Club Members Wax Eloquent

SLUMPS—PAST, PRESENT AND JUTURE—THEIR THEME

It would be difficult to say just who the speaker at the Citizens’ Lunch Club yesterday. Nominally it was Mr IA. V. (Bert) Pizzey’s turn to harangue 1 the multitude, but when he had scarcely got going before his fellow citizens took turns at “butting in” and stealing his thunder, so that it would not be fair to say who gave the address. But they all had plenty to say, and the multitude of chimeras put forth would have done justice to any legislative assembly.

-Cure that Slump” was tho topic on which Mr Pizzey had elected to speak. "But the pitch was half-queered for him before he got on his feet. Chairman J. H. Dick, after announcing his gratification that Mr Pizzey was going to speak from a serious text, devoted quito ten minutes of the latter’s time to some thoughts on the depressionpast, present, and future. It was only after two remonstrances from the ■speaker himself that Mr Dick resumed his seat. . • Mr Pizzey soon demonstrated in no uncertain fashion how really serious he was about it all. To some, ho said, -‘it might seem that it was a belated elfort to speak about a slump that was alrcadv past. But when ho had agreed to speak on the topic threo months ago ■the slump was still with us. Besides, wo were assured that slumps recurred ■in cycles at 70-year intervals, and some of the words of wisdom he offered 'might bo of use on tho next occasion. Tho slump just, passed had been the .most successful one known, and instead of letting it die a natuml death, '• 'doctors’’ of economy had continually dosed it up and kept it alive. The real euro was easy. Our heavenly existence, we were told, consisted of 'sitting in the clouds and playing the .harp from dawn till dark. Wo also ■"learnt that the depression had been a 'hell upon earth. We could soon fix all that. We could convert all the hotair •from Wellington into clouds, enough to furnish the whole world, and we could apply all out unemployed to the one object—harp manufactures. Then in the garden would be 'lovely. „ ~. * At this stage Mr Pizzey allowed him•self a digression. Ho had espied Citizen Phil. S. Larcomb in tho room, and ..summoned him to tho speaker’s table to receive a packet of cigarettes he was evidently expecting. When Mr. Larcomb came to claim his own, he wielded a hefty post over his shoulders. j. “You see, I had no .money, so I ■•’brought along-one of Mr Mansford s 'tally sticks,” he explained with acon4.trito air.

- “How much is it worth!’’ J “ A Shilling.’ ’ -Then here’s your change.” And Mr Pizzev handed over a neatly-tied jit,tie bundle of kindling wood—quite threepence worth. Mr Larcomb seemed quite content with this, and took up the thread of the discourse to the total exclusion of Mr Pizzey, who had been “spinning" so well before. His idea for a real anti-slump cure was a world-wide compulsory re-treading of motor tyres. ... Then Mr G. Pattle came in to play offside, to declare that he did not see much in Mr Larcomb’s vapourings, but that he would seriously recommend to a seriously depressed Palmerston North 70 years hence that it should favourably consider the recently seminated ■plan for planting the Kairanga with '•passion fruit. That would get things

moving. Mr L. Sinclair said that citizens of Jiis persuasion -were governed entirely "by inspiration, never by logic. He had lately been inspired with an undoubted cure for all our woes. It was the "more work and less of it' ’ theory. Many of us could do with a little more work, and many would gladly forego a bit of theirs to give the other -fellow a chance. For twelve months no more t mind you—we should blithely hand over the control of every domain of life to women. Then there would be enough work available at the end of the twelve months to keep everybody going in a full-time capacity for many years to come. Mr J. A. Grant also had his say, although, of course, his unfolding of a plan was too lucid. Mr Pizzey had started well, he said, and had got quite up in the clouds. But he had not Stayed there. Mr Larcomb had marched up with a fencing post and received a few splinters in exchange. For his paTt, he did not see why they should look on money as a part of the slump. It had nothing to do with it. Everyone had the slump, but no one had any money. Mr Grant’s personal view for solving the problem was that it .'should be by Tadical reform of the judiciary. The reforms, of course, .would be quite sweeping. - Things were quite plainly getting beyond a joke when Mr 0. M. Lascellos got up and told his fellow diners that the slump was no laughing matter, and .they should know better than to spend 2(5 minutes of their time in these days of economy treating it as such. Really what was needed above all else was some understanding. The interjections having now apparently ceased, Mr Pizzey got off and rounded his remarks to a fitting conclusion.

- Mr R. TI. Spencer, in moving a vote of thanks to the legion of speakers, devoted most of his- time to a little descant on a plan of his own, which had been quite overlooked. -Perhaps after all, as the all-wise arc wont to say of the encounters between some of the matmen of this slump and post-slump era, it was all a prearranged'job; but it was certainly an entertaining half-hour. It is doubtful whether all of the horde of joy-germs so thoughtfully released by our citizens "will ever be recovered. They are scattered beyond reach. In more solemn vein t.he club extended its congratulations to Mr F. W. Furbv prominent Palmerston Nortn citizen, who has been promoted to the position of postmaster at Christchurch. Visitors welcomed were Messrs F. B. Weight, T. M. H. Rodgers (Palmerston Horth), and L. Bayliss (Cambridge). New members welcomed were Messrs 'I,. ,T. Hagen, P. W. Ivey, T. L. Seator, A. G. F. Lawson, P. C. Wallace and iKov. J. C. Zimmerman*